“I’m not a bad mom because my son has a substance use disorder. But sometimes I feel judged or alone – people don’t know what to do or say about his addiction. I wish the people in my life knew the whole story.”
“I felt frustrated because I didn’t know how to help my son with his addiction. Things were hard between us until I remembered he is more than his condition. He’s my son. He deserves love and support – while we figure this out together.”
It may feel hard to know how to support people in your life who are being impacted by addiction. Connecting in compassionate ways can make a real difference.
There are ways to be there for your loved ones or friends.
Make the connection
This can look different for every person or family. This might be telling someone you care. Or letting them know you’re there if they want to talk.
You could try: “Hi, it’s been a while – I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. How are you? I’d love to meet for a coffee soon and talk. Any chance you’re free this weekend?”
Come from a place of compassion
The ‘tough love’ approach can cause people to feel shame or blamed. Approaching connection with others using kindness and compassion goes a long way.
You could try: “I’m glad we had a chance to talk this week, I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time and wish I could make this better for you. I’m here for you, and I’ll do what I can to help – what’s the best way I can support you right now?”
Understand their story
Taking time to learn about someone’s experience and how they’re feeling can make your connection stronger. It can help them to feel seen and respected.
You could try: “It sounds like this is really tough for you right now. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to hear about your experience, whatever you're comfortable sharing. Can we talk over a cup of tea?”
Be kind to yourself
Finding ways to support someone is not always easy. Taking care of yourself helps you to be able to show up for others. Creating healthy boundaries can be one of them.
You could try: “Thank you so much for trusting me with that. I really care about you and I want to talk more about this. I might just need a few days to process and learn more, so I can support you in the best way.”
Language matters
Words have a big impact; they can hurt others, even when they’re not meant to. Everyone can find ways to be mindful and inclusive with language choices and communicate in a supportive way.
You could try: “When I told you that we needed to ‘fix you’, I was coming from a place of wanting it to get better. I realize now that my words hurt you. I want to be here for you – I’m learning too.”
Have the conversation
Conversations that are free of blame or judgement let others know you care. Reaching out to check in and talk helps them to know they’re not alone.
You could try: “Hey, I hope I’m not overstepping here, but it seems like you’re not yourself lately. Would you like to meet up? I’m here for you.”
Learn about substance use and addiction
Educating yourself about addiction is both empowering for you and whoever you’re connecting with. It can help you understand their journey.
You could try: “I have to be honest – I want to be there for you, but I don’t really know that much about what you're going through. Is it okay if I ask you some questions? You can let me know if there’s anything you’re not comfortable answering.”
Make the connection
This can look different for every person or family. This might be telling someone you care. Or letting them know you’re there if they want to talk.
You could try: “Hi, it’s been a while – I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. How are you? I’d love to meet for a coffee soon and talk. Any chance you’re free this weekend?”
Come from a place of compassion
The ‘tough love’ approach can cause people to feel shame or blamed. Approaching connection with others using kindness and compassion goes a long way.
You could try: “I’m glad we had a chance to talk this week, I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time and wish I could make this better for you. I’m here for you, and I’ll do what I can to help – what’s the best way I can support you right now?”
Understand their story
Taking time to learn about someone’s experience and how they’re feeling can make your connection stronger. It can help them to feel seen and respected.
You could try: “It sounds like this is really tough for you right now. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to hear about your experience, whatever you're comfortable sharing. Can we talk over a cup of tea?”
Be kind to yourself
Finding ways to support someone is not always easy. Taking care of yourself helps you to be able to show up for others. Creating healthy boundaries can be one of them.
You could try: “Thank you so much for trusting me with that. I really care about you and I want to talk more about this. I might just need a few days to process and learn more, so I can support you in the best way.”
Language matters
Words have a big impact; they can hurt others, even when they’re not meant to. Everyone can find ways to be mindful and inclusive with language choices and communicate in a supportive way.
You could try: “When I told you that we needed to ‘fix you’, I was coming from a place of wanting it to get better. I realize now that my words hurt you. I want to be here for you – I’m learning too.”
Have the conversation
Conversations that are free of blame or judgement let others know you care. Reaching out to check in and talk helps them to know they’re not alone.
You could try: “Hey, I hope I’m not overstepping here, but it seems like you’re not yourself lately. Would you like to meet up? I’m here for you.”
Learn about substance use and addiction
Educating yourself about addiction is both empowering for you and whoever you’re connecting with. It can help you understand their journey.
You could try: “I have to be honest – I want to be there for you, but I don’t really know that much about what you're going through. Is it okay if I ask you some questions? You can let me know if there’s anything you’re not comfortable answering.”